Book 6: Sex
Mrs. Carter had prepared a special dinner to celebrate her father’s birthday, and the family had come together to eat it. A homemade cake sat in the middle of the table with “Happy Birthday Poppy” written on top. As Poppy passed a platter of roast beef to Jimmy he asked whether anything interesting had happened at school. Jimmy took the platter, forked off a piece of meat, and said, “Yes. Irene Thornton found a f#@k in her math book. She showed it to me after class but wouldn’t tell me what it meant.”
The adults understood what he had said, but none wanted to confirm it, so they looked sideways at each other and waited. Finally Mr. Carter asked, “A what?”
Jimmy answered, “A f#@k.” Then he spelled it.
Mr. Carter frowned. “In a fourth grade math book?”
“Yes.”
Mrs. Carter’s mother—called Grandie by the children—laughed, and Poppy squeezed her arm to make her stop. Although f#@k fell outside Grandie’s comfort zone, she wasn’t offended by profanity. Her favorite obscenity was sh!t—or sh!te if she was in polite company—and for fun she sometimes introduced Mr. Carter to friends as her son of a b!♯ch-in-law.
Nevertheless Mr. Carter downplayed the situation. He commented quietly, “That’s interesting.” Then he asked Grandie to pass the salt and pepper.
She winked and said, “My pleasure.”
Susanna—who was two years younger than Jimmy—saw lights dance in her grandmother’s eyes and wanted to know more. “What’s a f#@k?” she asked.
Grandie stifled a laugh, Poppy squeezed her arm again, and Mrs. Carter squelched the question. “It’s not something we talk about at dinner,” but Susanna didn’t give up.
She turned directly to her grandmother and asked, “What’s a f#@k?”
Mrs. Carter shook her head at Grandie. Then she looked squarely at Susanna and told her not to say f#@k anymore, but Grandie and Poppy couldn’t keep from smiling, and Mr. Carter had to cough to keep from laughing. Even Mrs. Carter looked like she wanted to smile, so Susanna pressed harder, “Tell me what it means, or I’ll keep saying it.”
Mrs. Carter said, “No.”
With a melodious voice Susanna began to sing, “F#@k... f#@k... f#@k... f#@k... f#@k... f#@k... f#@k... f#@k.”
